I always say I have an umbrella. When I love you, I put you under my umbrella. I protect you. I feel responsible for you and I will full-heartedly defend you, put my ass on the line for you, and be there for you. Because of this, I do expect a certain amount in return.
Sometimes though, as I have learned, that isn’t always fair. People don’t love the same. People don’t see things the same and sometimes, people are just being the best person to you that they know how to be. It doesn’t mean either is wrong or right, it is just different and to be at peace with it, is acceptance. ‘t took quite a bit for me to learn this over the years.
I try to remember to take people for who they are but it is easy to forgive and accept people when you love them. The love, even though occasionally annoying, is unconditional in ways because you are willing to look past it. However, there are sometimes when things just change. The wind blows and your umbrella flips inside out and a few people under it tumble away and are too far to grasp again.
This happens as life shifts and I know for some people I would run after them to grab them again but for others, maybe they chose to go with the wind instead of doing their part or their best to stay nearby and that’s okay too. Sometimes though, it takes a bit of patience and time to understand why this happened and to become ok with the fact that they are no longer in your life. And sometimes, that gust of wind is a blessing in disguise because as one of my best friends Stephanie and I always say, “if they don’t add value to your life, let them go” and once the dust settles, it usually becomes clear that if they were loose enough to let that wind send them sailing, then maybe they weren’t meant to stay there in the long run anyway.
Recently, I have experienced something similar. It is odd to be honest. I take those I let under my umbrella to heart. I am naturally an open, extroverted person but I am still a bit guarded when it comes to who I decide to realllllly get close to so when I develop close relationships, I don’t like to give up on them. I like to collect “lifers”. But somethings call for a change.
This applies to friendships, relationships and in some cases, even family members. If someone becomes more toxic and doesn’t make you feel good, then it is likely time to wish them well and release the grasp. Life changes all the time and you can grow out of people, situations, or the negativity and bad feelings that they bring.
Everyone will experience this. Sometimes it happens naturally overtime and sometimes a specific event will put this alteration in motion but there are certain things to do when you have come to the realization that someone you were once close to may not have a place in your life anymore.
Be okay with the knowledge that it is okay to drift a part. It is life and this won’t be the first time two people have moved separate ways. And in your life, it likely won’t be the last.
Understand that it doesn’t always require a conversation
Somethings really are better left unsaid. Just let it be and odds are both parties will be at peace with that. And who knows? They could tumble back in your life again at some point and you might be open to making room for them under the umbrella again.
Don’t wish harm on anyone just appreciate their place in your life and understand that that was special time. Wish them well and send them on their way. They are a passerby in your story.
Letting it go means getting past it and don’t rehash it. It’s over. Let it be over.