Your twenties are one of those decades that you really start to take in the phases of life more. You have more years to your name and therefore, more data, memories, phases, and moments to analyze and look back on. There are just more things to notice that have evolved. Jobs, friendships, homes, relationships… so many big things change. Who are are at the start line is usually not who you are at the finish line.
In the last couple years where I have had no way out but to be labeled “late twenties” I have noticed there is a bit of a difference on my outlook. The way I approached decisions at 29 has needless to say, been all together different than the way I approached my choices at 23.
I have to say though, I do miss that slight air of reckless abandon or simply not having to be so calculated that I had in my early 20’s. I absolutely wish I could still obtain a bit of that feeling that time is on my side and that crutch that “meh, I’m young” because truth be told, as I approach the next decade, I feel a bit more weight on my decisions. I am young and there is still plenty of time but less so if I want certain goals, savings, lifestyle, a house, (and so on and so forth) by a certain age. The responsibility of adulthood has really dug its ugly claws in my skin and being realistic about certain things, unfortunately has to be more of a reality.
It is both a blessing and a curse. It is nice to see the maturity and growth but also I really long for that wide eyed, rose colored glasses (ha-ha) hope of wondering if my next move, choice, audition, interview, or whatever will be the next THING. That maybe that choice will take me on the adventure of a lifetime and who knows where I’ll end up. I guess it is that mystery of not really knowing what comes next that is phenomenally liberating, exciting and one of the greatest things about being in your early twenties. You simply have more freedom to try to grab those lofty goals and if you are lucky, you might just catch that shooting star.
I think this is the point where I should acknowledge that not every one gets the opportunity to explore, take risks, or jump from one adventure to the next. I was lucky that I was able to.
I started at a college that didn’t seem like my long term fit then transferred to another school, making all new friends and keeping the old. Then I graduated early and moved to LA and worked and focused on auditioning for movies, tv shows, theater, modeling gigs, the works. I spent time singing songs for record companies, exploring Southern California, writing A LOT, going to acting classes, meeting people from all walks of life, teaching kids the performing arts, making wonderful friends, and even reading lines on Fox and Warner Bros. lots, helping out friends with their independent films, and interning at Extra. When that time came to a close, I went to Europe for a few months and explored the world through different eyes alongside my best friend.
All this was by the time I hit 25 and after that, I spent the next couple years starting a career, and the last two really developing it, especially with my side project in this blog. I am so grateful that I had that time to just play, explore and figure it out before I settled into something more stable. I don’t think I will ever have the freedom quite like I did then ever again. I have new dreams of owning a home, having a family and making sure that I can give my own children those crazy, fun opportunities that I had. Of course, none of those fun aspirations are gone, they are just placed a little differently on the priority chart.
The blog has been my exciting, new, fun adventure though that I think helps satisfy that craving to explore and do different projects. It keeps me creative and learning and for that I am grateful because it helps me to be a well-balanced adult. I can maintain a career but still play a bit because I don’t think I would do well if I felt like I was staying stagnant.
I guess I just miss the unsettled, scary but exhilarating feeling of trying new things without the tacked on responsibilities that seem to stack on with age. I know it will only get more intense as I grow my career further and eventually have a family of my own. However, I still work hard to maintain that childlike wonder of going for your dreams. This blog helps and some other new, exciting projects do too but it isn’t without effort.
So if you are reading this and are in your early 20’s, recognize how wonderful of a place you are in. Go for it, have fun, play AND work hard. The amount of changes that occur from your early twenties to your late twenties are insane so make the most of every moment because adulting can be tough!