Since quite a few of my friends are in serious relationships and/or living with their significant other, the holidays have brought up questions on how these couples are going to divide their time between their families during the holidays. I’ve always felt anxiety myself when thinking about this. I am very close to my family and we are a pretty small one at that. I also have a niece and nephew who are in full throttle Santa mode so leaving them at all during the holidays sounds heartbreaking. I also love my boyfriend and his family so much and want to spend time with them as well.
Ideally, if I had a big house, I would host holidays for everyone. Happily too! It would be marvelous! But since we aren’t quite roomies yet, I figure we have another year to put off the totally division but I do have some advice to give as I have considered a lot the best way to approach this is.
Divide the Day
Of course this only really works if your families live close to one another. I’m lucky in my situation as they do so I think to make all parties happy, you could dinner with one, brunch with another if necessary. Just make sure neither side feels like you are in a rush. Enjoy yourself! And remember, no spiked cider for you if you are driving from A to B.
Create a Separate Holiday
My sister’s in-laws have quite a big family so to make sure everyone gets their holiday time in together, they celebrate Christmas a few days afterwards. So essentially between Christmas Eve and Day, there are three big holidays for them. The kids definitely don’t complain about that either!
This is the easiest, and of course may be trickier the bigger the family, but I think at least once a year for whatever holiday, do your best to see if you don’t have to pick. If one side can accommodate the other, try to make that happen! If you can accommodate them, you should do it! Odds are if your parents have a kid in their mid to late twenties, they are very much looking forward to our generation taking over the holiday hosting reigns.
Make the Effort
Don’t be lazy! Ultimately, the holidays are about the people you love. Make sure everyone feels like you are giving them the time. If traveling, work or plain old logistics just aren’t making anything easy to plan, put together a night out or a visit post holidays. Also, if you feel like you can’t please everyone, just let it go. As long as you do your best to do the right thing, there isn’t much else to obsess over.